Wednesday, August 22, 2012

hey caulfield, take me away?

angst. it overrides the teenage system. bites you hard with frustration and makes you hate yourself.
and if you don't hate yourself, you hate the system.
but there it is: hate. 

because part of you realises that everything you do is controlled. and once you know that you can't possibly become ignorant of it again.
i chose to be a role model in this institution. and my intentions for being a "leader" were pure. 
but now it feels like "screw. this. all." and then i'm going to start being afraid of the repercussions of publicly saying this, in fear that they might find it, or something insignificant like that.

eh, not going to stop me.

and those of us who try to break free, find that it is all in vain. because society tells you that if you try to break free of the rigidities of, say, school, something. will. go. wrong.

and then you look at all the admirable people and see they probably did just that. dammit.

argh. and watching coming-of-age films just makes you feel like hitting the main character in the head.
[this being 'an education' in particular today, in relation to my life]

boredom sucks.

for example, right now i don't even know what i'm going on about. 

rantrantrant. ventventventvent.

and repeat.

[oh, and i left out most of the possible profanities in this passage,
as in, just tried my hardest to refrain from any hard sweaaaring]



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